It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
