Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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