final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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