we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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