So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
