dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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