Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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