She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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