Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize