he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
