Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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