Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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