What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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