brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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