It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize