i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize