I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
