I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
