Slut skills are useful in every country.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
