i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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