hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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