he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
