I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
