I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
