she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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