i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
