I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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