also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
