sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize