Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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