It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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