Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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