But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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