Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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