but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
