Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
