New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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