Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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