My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
