If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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