Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can you bring me the toilet please
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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