Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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