had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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