You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
