I just gift wrapped bread.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize