Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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