Acid is not a monday night drug
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
