we have officially lost it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
there is glitter all over my balls
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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