Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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