i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
