rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do vagina's smell?
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BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
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So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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