FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When are your genitals available?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
