We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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