is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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