You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
