Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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