I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
