i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
