Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
